I guess there is a first for all things in life. First time you walk, the first time you speak, the first crush, date, beer, sushi...you get the point. All firsts are just building blocks, foundations if you will to all the things we experience and that eventually lead to having a blog. I'm not sure if that means being any closer to self-actualization but its worth a shot -- right?
Many of the blogs I have read or stumbled upon or down right creeped upon...(Everyone has a lurker hiding down deep inside...I mean come on, that's what lurkers do, they hide. So don't start getting all wigged out about this! I'm just being honest and I suggest you do the same -- you freak!)...seem to have a statement of justification in the first entry. Sort of a disclaimer to the world why that individual's thoughts or scribblings matter. In all honesty I'm not sure that I could justify why I want to write down my thoughts and observation, but I'm not really sure it matters either. Ultimately, I find my world pretty damn entertaining and in the absence of a reality show in my near future, this is the next best thing.
I don't have any agenda with this little adventure other than to exercise my brain a little and work on my word-smithing. How will I ever write that novel I've been thinking about in my retirement if I don't write a little now?
So here it goes...the first blog entry! Now that the introductions are out of the way, with no further adew...crap what was I going to say?
I'm not sure who will read this blog, so I assume no past knowledge of me or who, what, when, where, etc. This might be a really good way for me to examine the things I think or write about. It will force me to look at things again or even maybe for the first time, and include as much detail as I can. So here we go...
I'm taking a course of study offered by Sewanee (The University of the South) called EfM or Education for Ministry. This is the second year of four and we just started classes again last night. I'm not going to get all evangelical on you, so don't click the log-off button so fast. Anyway, the topic of belief and faith always comes up. (Funny how that is in a religion study -- who knew belief and faith were key elements?) And I remembered a conversation that one of my students and I had about a year ago.
This student, (I was a college administrator for a LONG time), was an international student who came from a European country that isn't known for a depth of belief systems. They are famous for blonde hair and salmon (not necessarily at the same time) but to suggest that this country is devout about anything other than the design and manufacturing of simple yet sturdy furniture and meatballs would be a falsehood. I guess she could have been from anywhere, but I think this little nugget makes it interesting. Anyway, she approached me and asked very pointedly, "why do you believe in god?" I'm sure she meant GOD, but the way she asked the question with a smirk and slight hint of distain (or maybe that's just her accent) makes me certain I need the lower-case "g".
It's not like I walk around with a cross and holy water blessing the masses, but I think most people who know me can sense that I have a faith life that happens to include the belief in God. I'm not sure why she asked...but she did, and I tried to answer the best I could. I found that trying to describe the belief in God to a person who has no foundation or knowledge of religion is like trying to reason with a drunk. No matter how sound or well thought out the reasoning is, the person on the other side of the discussion just kind of staggers through it. She concluded her "seeking" of my belief by saying, "so it like an old man on the clouds pointing his finger?" At which time she made finger pistols and pointed them to the floor making "bang-bang" noises. This surprised me since I neither referred to an old man, clouds, or any type of gun during my explanation. Like I said...reasoning with a drunk! This didn't make me mad or upset -- I typically don't get emotional over discussions like these. I'm not hurt or insulted, but I was amused.
I took this opportunity to turn the tables a little and asked her, "Ok, so what do you believe in?" I don't think she liked that question. In fact she fought the question for over 10 minutes, asking me to define what I meant by "believe in". For a moment I felt like Ken Starr being challenged by the definition of "it".
She asked if I meant does she believe in Santa or ghosts? Like the word believe had to be connected to some mythical creature or show on the Discovery Channel, (there's a Squach in these woods...). I tried to focus the question my saying, tell me something you hold true, something you know is there and dependable...something you believe in! I didn't think it was a trick question. I wanted her to tell me something that she was certain about and then relate that back to my belief in God. Kind of draw some lines of common understanding so to speak. After about 30 minutes of painful discussion it was clear she couldn't connect to the question.
I would have been happy if she had said she believed in her parent's love, or that the sun will be in the sky tomorrow, or that McDonald's hamburgers are made of zombies -- or that she believed in herself! None of that even entered her mind. After she left I rolled all of this over in my mind -- and its obvious that I haven't resolved this discussion, because it came back to me last night in class.
I'm not sure what bothers me the most about that exchange with my past student. I know that it makes me sad and worried that there are younger people out there (intelligent people) who are either living in a world that they have no belief or faith in anything, or that they are so disconnected from their beliefs that there seems to be no hope for them. Either way, it must be a bleak existance and makes me worry about the world in general. I guess it also challenges me to examine my own beliefs and that's always an interesting moment of honesty for anyone...
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