Yesterday while sitting in church not really listening to the sermon, (something about bumper-stickers I recall, but then I stopped listening because I'm sure there is no mention of bumper-stickers in the Bible), it occurred to me that I always sit on the right hand side of the church. When I say "always", I mean like always, like every time! I'd go as far as to say that I have attended weddings and proclaimed kinship and unwavering loyalty to the groom, just to sit on the right side of the center isle -- why is that?
Somehow I knew that this revelation had to be important! I mean things like this aren't revealed on a street corner or on your deathbed. Having this given to me so plainly in church during the sermon no less surely meant I needed to contemplate and explore the deeper meaning. Most people of course would have brushed this off and continued to ignore the sermon and stare out the window or make mental commentary on what people chose to wear to church or how unfortunate that child's over-bite is...yikes!..but I'm not most people! So instead I continued to ignore the sermon and began to delve deeper into this new found enlightenment.
What struck me sometime between the creed and the forgiveness of sins was that I couldn't really come up with a good reason why I always sit on the right side of the church. You see; like most humans I hate to be challenged by the Divine -- even on simple things like where I sit in church. I know for a fact that the Bible is full of examples where we humans bow up and respond to a gentle nudge of awareness from the hand of the Creator with defensiveness and vanity. And so I began my exploration of my default non-secular seating assignment by puffing out my chest and saying, "so what?!?" Fortunately my bravado didn't elicit the same response that Pharaoh got for basically saying the same thing to God when he was made aware that he was holding certain possessions of the "Almighty's" and he kinda wanted them back. That's a great example of where, "so what?, what you going to do about it?" really didn't work out so well!
So, without a defense to justify why I sit where I do, I had to fall back to the position of I don't have a good reason at all. I heard a small voice confirming that I might be on to something, (of course that could have been the old guy in the back of the church who is always a few lines behind in the prayers. It's like praying with an echo - Amen....amen) but for purposes of this we'll assume it was a voice from above.
I realized that if I have been sitting on the right side of the church since my childhood, there had to be other things I do (out of habit) for no reason other than the fact that its habit. My mind started swirling as I recounted my life looking for patterns of behavior that are ingrained and entrenched -- harmless for sure, it's not like I have a habit of snorting coke or frequenting dangerous locations! But I wondered if my habits (as they are) could be as limiting or impede my life as much as if I had real bad ones. I mean all habits aren't equal right? There are good habit like eating right and exercising. You can develop habits of recycling and caring for others -- those are good! And there are bad habits like not brushing your teeth, or picking your nose. Really bad ones like hating people because the way the look or taking advantage of the old and helpless. If I had time and you'd read it all, I'm sure I could come up with pages of both good and habits! But then there are harmless habits, like sitting in the same place, or eating the same foods, or anything we warmly regard as routine and safe...
Right! So all habits aren't equal, just like all sins aren't equal! There are good habits and bad habits and habits that don't really matter at all! Just like there are bad sins and good sins and sins that don't really matter...wait, what did I just say? What t'hell???
I wonder if this isn't the point of me thinking about where I sit in church? Seems simple huh? Why should it matter where I sit, or what I eat or who I hang around...or any of the other things I do or say or think that make me who I am? It's all simple, but it's also very simplifying! I'm not sure its a good thing to live a "simplified life". Whether you believe in sin or not, there are certain actions and behaviors and attitudes that drive us apart from one another and ultimately further away from the potential we have as individuals. Sin (or whatever you want to call it) is the "great limiter" the great simplifier" the common weight that drags us all down in degrees -- some great and some small -- but the trajectory is the same nonetheless. Habits are kinda the same thing, just a smaller strain of the virus, (kinda like the common cold vs. AIDS).
SO...by now you must be thinking wow! Eric has connected sin and habits together - really!?! But hey, its my revelation not yours, so bite me! My point is this, I wonder how my habits have limited my potential and made me feel safe and secure, but protected me from nothing really. Sure I could go out and "sin" and the results might be immediate and predictable (limiting me). Or I could continue in my "harmless" patterns and still fall short of what I might have done, or seen, or learned -- both choices limit me -- just one is more socially acceptable.
I wonder what the view from the other side of the isle is like?
Hi Eric - Good to see you writing. I will keep reading...
Posted by: Vanessa Infanzon | 10/03/2011 at 07:48 PM